The Untitled Matt Colville Project

This is basically me, if I were a Mad Scientist.

Prepare to have your mind…

You only need to watch the first two minutes. I do listen to lots of other music, but I also have a Roger Dean desktop background.

I love writing. There are few things I love as much as sitting outside as the sun sets on a cool summer evening, having something artificially sweetened and heavily caffeinated, while I tappa-tappa-tappa on the Lappy.

The Lappy isn’t named yet. It should be. Windows annoyingly won’t let me give the Lappy a really long name like GSV The Anticipation of a New Lover’s Arrival.  And unfortunately the Internet has yet to attempt the mammoth task of cataloging the names of all the Gods and Elementals in the Eternal Champion books. And clearly I’m not going to name it something obvious like Arioch or Xiombarg. So for now it’s Lappy.

Now, the process I do not love. It’s work. It can be a lot of work. Trying to work out Why Something Happens, or Why This Doesn’t Happen. I’ve never had writer’s block, but I have had Outlining Block where I’ve stared at the outline for an hour trying to figure out why the Hero wouldn’t just shoot the guy he would obviously fucking shoot.

This is something I can talk about for, literally, hours and that’s a good indication I should under no circumstance do so. (more…)

My doctorb is awesome. I love Dr. Brunner and I always look forward to seeing him.

I say this because, as a guy, going to the doctorb is notable. There’s a difference between men and women. At least one difference. Possibly more, but for the purposes of this post let’s stick with this one difference: guys don’t see doctorbs. Not as a rule.

Women see doctorbs. That’s the difference. A friend of mine said “I don’t understand why none of you guys ever go to the doctor!” She said “doctor” because she does not know the extra “b” is for “bargain.” I esplained.

“Larra,” I said, for such was her name, “you have to imagine what it’s like being a guy and 18,” which is when most of us learn this.

“First, there’s nothing wrong with you at 18. You feel great. You can do pretty much anything, for pretty much as long as you want, and then eat whatever you want or, alternatively, nothing for days and you don’t notice either way. Why on Earth would you go to a doctor? (more…)

The subject: “evil masterminds whose plans don’t actually amount to much.”

Thinking purely of the original three Star Wars movies, do we see the Empire do anything other than oppress the Rebellion? They blow up a planet to scare people who might be helping the Alliance. They kill members of the Alliance, people who help them.

But imagine there was no Rebel Alliance. What is the Empire’s plan? What do they want? As far as we call tell, apart from disbanding the galactic senate (which happens before the first movie) while leaving the planetary governors in charge, do they declare war on anyone? Commit genocide? Oppress any minorities or religious groups? I guess it’s illegal to be a Jedi. But do we see them take any action against anyone that isn’t a reaction to or attack against the Rebellion? Do they even talk about doing anything to anyone else? Who would they go to war WITH?

If you’re a hoopoople peddler in Mandanar Square selling your wares to the Blue Haffaneese, do you notice any difference in your day to day life?

Or, to put it another way; we know the Empire was evil. We know they were ruthless and willing to kill anyone to acheive their ends. Apart from “take over, crush the rebellion” what were those ends?

More to the point; why hasn’t it ever seemed strange to me